Mars in Scorpio & the Instinctual Self

I love to read as much as I love to write, and I’m constantly collecting new information… in a very gemini-esque fashion. Meaning, when I’m at my computer I have 20+ browser tabs open with various articles – none of which I can read beginning to end without switching to several more articles while reading. I sometimes do it without noticing. I read a paragraph of one article, switch to the next, and do the same, and then again… finally circling back to the article at which I started reading.

Similarly, I have numerous books on the go at once in multiple forms – hard-copy books, Kindle books, library books, and audio books.

But to be perfectly honest, especially now that I am no longer in University, I rarely actually finish any of them. I read a chapter there, another chapter somewhere else… I spend my life hauling library books back and forth and maxing out on the number of books I’m allowed, and paying fines… and yet I’m lucky if I make a dent in the stack.

Ha, it feels like an addiction sometimes. Damn you Amazon, with your easy e-books and that 1-click purchase button!

I have a Gemini Moon, and my Mercury (in Pisces) squares an Uranus-Mars conjunction in Sag. I suppose I come by this erratic, ineffective and overly-ambitious reading habit naturally… (can any other Gemini-types relate to this??)

HOWEVER. I made a commitment this year to tackle a significantly big book, and read it cover to cover – sustaining the journey without getting distracted.

Last December 2016, I purchased the long-standing bestseller: “Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype”, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

500+ pages, small print and meaningful, multi-layered stories that required my full engagement… It was a daunting choice for my cover-to-cover goal, but it has crossed my path continuously since I first heard of it. I gradually worked my way through it, picking up speed slightly as I incorporated it into my morning routine along with my coffee, but I was still only reading a few pages at a time.

This slow, consistent approach worked out well. It is a book so rich with delicious flavour and meaning, that it is best digested and savoured in small morsels.

I finished the book last Sunday, December 10th, a year later – appropriate timing for this Mercury Retrograde/ Saturn in Sag wrap-up period. It has become my much-underlined bible and it has supported me well this year.

In a broader, more general sense, this endeavor has reminded me that solid progress can be made with patient, consistent, step-by-step (Saturnian) effort, rather than my typical, overly-ambitious, aim sky-high and then crash/burn-out approach.

I share this story to: 1) share/brag about this personal achievement of which I am very proud, 2) to offer a glowing recommendation of this gorgeous book (which I suspect many of you have heard of or read already), 3) to offer encouragement to other gemini-esque readers that it is possible to persevere with reading books cover-to-cover, and 4) to bring up the concept of “instincts”, which Estes writes quite a bit about.

Instincts always remind me of Mars in Scorpio. Mars recently entered Scorpio last Saturday and will be there until January 26th. Mars was last in Scorpio 2 years ago: January 3rd – March 5th, 2016, if you want to make any comparisons.

INSTINCTS.

What are they, really?! I’ve come across a number of definitions, a number of arguments for where instincts originate from within the body, and I’ve seen the word “instinct” used interchangeably with “reflexes”, “intuition”, “soul”, and to reference Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ term, our “wildish nature”.

Wikipedia tells me that “any behavior is instinctive if it is performed without being based upon prior experience (that is, in the absence of learning), and is therefore an expression of innate biological factors”.

How does a spider know to start spinning a web? How does a caterpillar know how to make a cocoon? How does a beaver know to make a beaver dam? How do birds figure out how to build a nest, or when and why to fly south?

They certainly never went to school for it.

Instincts. Magical instincts.

Other words that are used to describe instincts include: primal actions, hardwired impulses, inborn tendencies and inclinations, compulsions, gut feelings, biologically-based needs and automatic physical responses to external stimuli…

Some have argued that humans don’t have instincts in the same way that animals  do – that most of our behavior is “learned behavior” (with the addition of some bodily “reflexes”).

However, Estes would argue that we are instinctual creatures through and through. She indicates that the aim of her writing is to “de-pathologize the integral instinctual nature, and to demonstrate its soulful and essential psychic ties to the natural world.”

The entire book of hers, is a summoning to return to our natural innate instincts – our wildish selves. To remember who we truly are.

She suggests readers ask themselves the following questions:

“What has happened to my soul-voice? What are the buried bones of my life? In what condition is my relationship to the instinctual Self? When was the last time I ran free? How do I make life come alive again?

These strike me as Mars in Scorpio questions.

Mars symbolizes our will, our primal desires, how we assert ourselves, protect ourselves, and get what we need and want. Perhaps one could say that astrologically, Mars symbolizes our instinctual selves…

In Scorpio, Mars’ power is amplified. Its appetite is voracious. Its methods are cunningly strategic, stealthy, and determined. Its expression sizzles with intensity and passion… and sometimes pain.

Scorpio is, after all, a doorway to our deepest vulnerabilities.

Will we use this transit to peel back the layers to awaken our sacred instincts, our birthright? Or will we respond by running and hiding, and redirecting that relentless, pulsating, yearning for liberation toward cheap fulfillment?

Assuming that as human beings, members of the Animal Kingdom, we do indeed possess instinctual drives, what purpose do our instincts serve?

• Instincts seek to ensure our survival – individually, and arguably collectively – by getting our basic needs met.

• Instincts keep us safe by prompting protective and defensive action.

• Instincts warn us of danger and propel us away from pain and suffering.

• Instincts direct us toward pleasure, love and connection.

And according to Estes, instincts beckon us forward toward freedom, truth, wholeness, and fulfillment.

However, in our complicated society, which no longer resembles the Stone Age, how do these instincts express themselves?

The problem is that for many of us, we’ve inherited and absorbed stories from our environments that have rerouted our instincts and rewired our neurobiology. We have been traumatized, imprinted, and conditioned, to associate certain stimuli with pain, pleasure, love and fulfillment based on past experiences that may no longer be relevant or beneficial.

The voice of our instinctive, wildish selves, often reaches us like a faint whisper over a static phone line.

What is a genuine “gut feeling”, an intuitive knowing… and what feels like an intuitive instinctual response, but is actually a response based on warped messages we have learned, inherited, and absorbed throughout our life? Sometimes we have to untangle crossed wires before the voice of our instinct comes through loud and clear.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes believes that we are “born with all instinct intact.” She writes for those seeking to recover the trail of the instinctual self in order to retrieve their vital essence that has been domesticated, captured, or injured.

“The repair of injured instinct begins with acknowledging that a capture has taken place, that a soul-famine has followed, that usual boundaries of insight and protection have been disturbed… When the instincts are injured, humans will “normalize” assault after assault, acts of injustice and destruction toward themselves, their offspring, their loved ones, their lands, and even their Gods.” (~Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

What would it mean to recover our instinctual selves?

“Within us is the old one who collects bones. Within us there are the soul-bones of this wild Self. Within us is the potential to be fleshed out again as the creature we once were. Within us are the bones to change ourselves and our world. Within us is the breath and our truths and our longings – together they are the song, the creation hymn we have been yearning to sing.” (~Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

And how might we find our wildish selves?

I’ll tell you right now, the doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.” (~Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

Lilith (and her “rebellion” from captivity) is an archetypal figure of the instinctual self. For me, Lilith, as an astrological point in my chart and the mythic narrative and symbolism it references, has been a door.

Perhaps Mars’ transit through the dark waters of Scorpio is another door to the wild Self?

I’ll conclude with the advice of Friedrich Nietzsche…

“Being human is a complicated gig. So give that ol’ dark night of the soul a hug. Howl the eternal yes!


Pssst… for additional and more frequent cosmic weather updates, follow Lilith Rebellion on Instagram and Facebook. To receive a weekly cosmic weather overview by email, subscribe to Lilith Rebellion email updates. The week’s cosmic weather forecast will be published on the blog every Monday, with periodic additional posts to mark important cosmic events.

The Beauty of Wilted Flowers :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for December 11th – 17th

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As of today (MONDAY), Saturn is now at the 29th degree, the final Anaretic degree, of Sagittarius . The countdown to Saturn’s ingress into Capricorn on December 19th/20th continues! Just over a week remains (…between now and the end of my Saturn Return, hallelujah).

Here at the 29th degree – the degree on which Mercury pivoted and first began its retrograde – Saturn in Sag is scrutinizing, probing, examining, and bringing a serious sense of urgency to our actions and big decisions.

What is your Truth? Are you in alignment with it?

What are your beliefs and worldviews? Are you embodying them at their highest expression?

Where do you plant your faith and hope? Are they secure and well nourished?

This week ushers us into the dark moon phase in preparation for the New Moon in Sagittarius next MONDAY (or late SUNDAY, depending on your time zone).

A few days after the New Moon next week, the skies will be shaking with some intense activity as the Sun reaches its most southern point at the December Solstice, and Saturn conjoins with the Sun at 0 degrees Capricorn. Big stuff is coming!

But for now, we are encouraged to sink into the lessons we have learned this year, reflecting deeply on the experiences that have shaped us since Saturn first entered Sag on December 23rd, 2014.

I find wilting, dying flowers strangely beautiful in a melancholic, haunting way. The transience of their vibrancy and sweet, sickly smelling surrender to decay, is somehow mesmerizing for me.

That’s what this week feels like – meditating on the year’s flowers wilting and dying, while simultaneously catching the faint, delicate smells of future flowers, still buried intact in their seed capsules, preparing for spring.

On TUESDAY the Sun will conjoin with Mercury retrograde, fusing identity and purpose with thought and communication. These types of conjunctions are called “inferior conjunctions” and they are unique to Mercury and Venus. They occur when Mercury (or Venus; the only two planets that orbit closer to the Sun than the Earth does) is aligned exactly BETWEEN the Earth and the Sun.

In contrast, during a superior conjunction, Mercury is on the other side of the Sun – further away from Earth). Check out an app like Solar System Scope to see what this actually looks like in real time.

Mercury’s inferior conjunctions are arranged in the sky in the same way as a New Moon (i.e. when the Moon is between the Earth and Sun), and thus they carry similar symbolism. With the planet of thought, knowledge, and communication is so close to us, in front of the Sun, we are likely to receive important insights and intuitive glimpses around this timewithout our conscious ego selves interfering.

This inferior conjunction also means that we are mid-way through this retrograde period, right in the thick of it. How’s it going? What gems have you been collecting and processing?

On the same day (TUESDAY), Jupiter conjoins Vesta in Scorpio and we re-dedicate ourselves to growing and expanding toward new freedoms by facing our fears and vulnerabilities.

WEDNESDAY brings us the Moon traveling through Scorpio and conjoining with Mars, and then later with Jupiter on THURSDAY, bringing our emotions deep into the depths and stirring that Scorpionic pot.

The Moon (symbolizing our emotional, internal, subconscious self) moves so quickly that it makes many aspects during a week that I generally don’t have time to comment on, but I’ve decided to begin mentioning when the Moon makes meaningful aspects that bring attention to other cosmic events. Wednesday brings us some intensity, while Thursday stirs a large spoonful of luck and blessing into that pot of intensity.

Throughout THURSDAY, FRIDAY and SATURDAY, as the Moon dies into darkness, Venus and Mercury Rx will conjoin (exact on FRIDAY) and trine the North Node which is conjunct Ceres, an asteroid that speaks to mothering/nurturing symbolism.

This is a lovely aspect that highlights our relational communications, our artistic creations, our pleasure, our joy. In respect to these themes we are being gently persuaded to reach and stretch a little higher, to spread our wings for a dreamy adventure beneath the Balsamic Moon, when intuition and the subconscious is at full strength.

What is being nurtured, here under the cover of darkness? What new life is being sung sweetly out of hiding?

If you have personal planets around ~16-18 Sag and Leo, you may feel this magic alight in your life in some particularly special way. Mercury also trined the North Node on November 19th when it was moving Direct, and thus you may see some correlations between these dates.

Ceres, who has been dancing with the North Node in Leo for a while now, Stations Retrograde on SATURDAY, while still trining Venus and Mercury Rx. You likely won’t see the fruits of this simmering magic for a while yet, with Mercury and now Ceres trekking backwards, but be patient. Listen closely for the restless whispers of those flowers of the future, still encapsulated in their seed pods.

Ceres’ Retrograde on the North Node will bring your creative, alchemical processes deeper into the womb of Leo, to permeate them with greater vitality and life.

On FRIDAY and SATURDAY, the Sun makes a series of aspects we just experienced through Mercury. The Sun squares Chiron on FRIDAY, and then trines Uranus on SATURDAY, within a stone’s throw of Saturn.

Old hurts and painful memories may be emerging and surfacing during this often tension-filled holiday season, but at the same time, we are letting go and sinking our teeth into our increasing freedom, to be who we want to be.

On SUNDAY, we are quickly nearing the beginning of a new lunation cycle, as the sky’s lunar body moves into alignment with the Sun. Before it reaches its New Moon position at 26′ Sagittarius however, the Moon will bounce off Mercury Rx and Venus, re-activating that recent magic trine.

As Pallas turns Direct, conjunct Uranus in Aries on SUNDAY, we are able to more clearly see the big picture and the steps that will take us to our destination.

It may not be a typical route. It may not involve the usual strategies. It may not be a path socially-approved by the mainstream, but we are seeing a blueprint unfurl within our minds. The compass has undeniably pointed us in an authentic direction.

On the same day, Vesta in Scorpio squares the Nodal Axis, bringing her sacred attention and focus to an important intersection and set of choices, deep within our inner caves.

With the North Node in Leo and the South Node in Aquarius, it is important to bring the symbolism of this polarity into balance.

Aquarius without Leo, its opposite sign, is either completely isolated as an innovative outcast and defiant rebel… or it has completely submitted its individuality to the collective consciousness and offered up its utility value as a nameless tool for advancing humanity in whatever way the group sees fit.

The integration of Leo in this dynamic (within the cosmic DNA of all of us) enables Aquarius to claim, retain, and contribute its visionary leadership abilities and brilliant ideas within a collaborative group effort, without compromising its sense of self and authentic direction, and without rejecting/being rejected from the groups that so desperately need its forward-thinking genius.

There is no one like you in a world of 7.6 billion people. No one.

Shine bright and bring your innate and unique gifts out into the light.

(authorship of above quote disputed here)

 

Pssst… for additional and more frequent cosmic weather updates, follow Lilith Rebellion on Instagram and Facebook. To receive a weekly cosmic weather overview by email, subscribe to Lilith Rebellion email updates. The week’s cosmic weather forecast will be published on the blog every Monday, with periodic additional posts to mark important cosmic events.

The Saturn-Mercury Conjunction of the Last Two Weeks :: How is it Showing Up in Your Life?

In my last post I said that Mercury hates going slowly. That was an exaggeration. However, I think it could be true to say that the symbolism of Mercury – as an archetypal projection of our current societyvalues fast and devalues slow.

Mercury Retrogrades harness the gifts of Slowness. They provide us with an opportunity to shift into another way of thinking, processing, and communicating. I always find Mercury Retrogrades magical, even when they are at their most difficult. New insights emerge, important conversations occur, synchronicity abounds, and breakthroughs happen. The past whispers into the present, re-weaving life threads together in new ways.

When you are first beginning to learn astrology, interpreting the way a global transit is interacting with your natal chart and showing up in your life, can be confusing at times. Since everyone has a unique natal chart, transits will show up differently for different people.

Identifying the astrological HOUSE(S) that are being activated by a transit in a natal chart, is a key interpretive factor that can be used to narrow in on what a transit’s expression might be for an individual. Each of the 12 themed houses in every astrological natal chart encompasses a particular chunk of a person’s life territory.

(if you have never accessed your birth chart before, check out my instructions on how to do so)

In this post I provide FIVE very tangible examples of how the recent Saturn-Mercury conjunction has been expressing itself in my own life, and in the lives of people around me, based on what house this transit is activating within their natal chart.

The examples from my friends’ lives focus primarily on obvious, external events. However, I am sure that there is also meaningful internal processing accompany these external changes and events, of which I am unaware. Transits (and especially Mercury Retrogrades) can express both externally, and internally.

First, here again, are the Key Dates for this transit:

  • Saturn and Mercury have been conjoined within a few degrees of each other in Sagittarius for about two weeks (since ~November 24th they’ve both been between 25-29 degrees of Sag).
  • Saturn and Mercury had their first exact conjunction (when both planets were at the exact same degree) on November 28th (Tues) at 27 Sag.
  • Mercury turned Retrograde on December 3rd (last Sunday) at 29 Sag.
  • Mercury then headed back toward Saturn and there was a second exact conjunction on Dec. 6th (last Wed) at 28 Sag.

It is noteworthy for a quick-moving, visible planet like Mercury (referred to as a “personal planet”), to spend such a prolonged time close to a slower-moving, outer planet like Saturn.

The expression of both planets are typically quite noticeable; Saturn because it can be very serious and harsh, and Mercury because its symbolism is woven deeply into our minute-by-minute lives.

Therefore, as the energies of both planets co-mingle for an extended period of time, you’d likely be feeling this one.

I’m going to break this down for anyone who is still figuring out the astro basics. Before I get to the examples, here are the symbolic keywords and concepts for Mercury and Saturn:

MERCURY (the messenger): Information processing and the concept of “practical exchanges” are key to understanding Mercury. Think of life content that has a “back and forth”, or “give and take” motion to it, such as: an exchange of information through written and verbal communication; the exchange of time and effort for the development of a new skill; collecting knowledge and then sharing it with others in conversation; the act of exchanging money for desired items; trading goods for other goods; bartering; short-distance or short-term travel to some location… and then returning back home; technology that does stuff in exchange for the input you give it (especially communication devices).

Mercury also symbolizes siblings, cousins, and sometimes peers, friends, neighbors and acquaintances – i.e. people with whom you learn the art of give and take. And possibly pets? I’m still exploring this correlation (let me know if you have any thoughts on this or know of any asteroids associated with pets!).

SATURN (the teacher): The harsh realities of living as a mortal human being in a time and space-bound world. Some of these harsh realities include: time, aging, decay, death, gravity, physical limits, delays, obstacles, fear, guilt, rules and regulations, isolation, loneliness, existential anguish and responsibility, and the consequences of our actions. Saturn also symbolizes long-term goals; tangible outcomes; serious tests and tasks; commitments and big decisions; contracts; following-through and completing what we’ve started; doing that which is not fun but necessary and important; being responsible; ambition; working hard; endurance; focus; patience; wisdom that comes through lived experiences; authenticity; firm foundations; boundaries; father-figures and authority figures; leadership; maturity; self-sufficiency.

Now here are the FIVE examples to help you put together the puzzle pieces…

EXAMPLE #1 of a friend with the Saturn-Mercury conjunction transiting her 2ND HOUSE, which encompasses the life domain of: income, material and skill-based assets and possessions, values and self-worth…

On the day of the first conjunction she returned from a trip away to a busy stressful week of catching up on work (she runs two businesses). During that week she had a meeting with a company that agreed to take care of doing all her business taxes. It is a service she had to pay for, but one that will take away a lot of stress. She signed a contract with this company and put a down payment on the service. This is very apt since Saturn correlates with taking care of not-fun stuff, being responsible, big commitments, decisions and contract signing, while Mercury is about practical exchanges and information processing.

Then a few days later on Sunday, when Mercury turned Retrograde, her and her partner decided to take care of a chore they had been delaying (Saturn). They embarked on a short road trip (Mercury) in order to close up and winterized the cottage-trailer they own. Mercury Retrograde often sends us back to the past, or brings the past into the future, in order to gain new insight or closure on something. In this sense, “returning” to a summer location to winterize their trailer – a 2nd house “asset” – aligns well with the Retrograde occurring on the same day.

EXAMPLE #2 of a friend with the Saturn-Mercury conjunction transiting her 4TH HOUSE, which encompasses the life domain of: one’s physical home; one’s history, roots and childhood; internal foundations; inner psyche and emotional realm; the desire for a stable, secure and safe home – both externally and internally; the cultivation of a sense of “belonging”…

Recently she relocated to another country (very appropriate for a Sag stellium in the 4th house). The Saturn-Mercury conjunction correlated with her moving into a new apartment, which better suited her needs (a Saturnian commitment to a new home). This conjunction also marked a time of trying to figure out how and when to apply for a different visa, which would enable her to work in her new country (i.e. this is related to trying to establish a secure sense of home in a new country through obtaining access to jobs, which highlights the 4th House – 10th House axis).

Just before the Mercury Retrograde began, she booked a visa application appointment for early next year (i.e. evoking Saturn themes of government, regulation, rules, along with Mercury’s themes of information-processing and paperwork).

In the remainder of the Mercury Retrograde period she will be hosting a friend from her original home city who is coming to visit (i.e. Mercury symbolizes friends and travel; Mercury Retrogrades often bring old friends back into your life; Saturn symbolizes the role of being a responsible host; and with the conjunction occurring in her 4th House, of course the theme of home is emphasized again).

EXAMPLE #3 of a friend with the Saturn-Mercury conjunction in the 7TH HOUSE, which encompasses the life domain of: close friendships; romantic partnerships; business partnerships; contracts, agreements and commitments with/to another person; as well as open enemies and litigation…

During the period of this transit, this person has become very aware that a friendship in their life has become imbalanced. He knows he needs to assert boundaries and deliver some difficult news. He is rallying the courage to address this issue (i.e. Saturn often brings us face to face with the harsh reality of life and together with the planet of communication, Saturn + Mercury can be the bearers of hard news).

He also found a study-buddy partner last week for an important upcoming exam. They met to figure out what their study “plan” would be and made an agreement to meet up regularly (i.e. this is a 7th house agreement and partnership between two people; Mercury represents learning and communication while Saturn often speaks to deadlines as well as difficult tasks – together this symbolism correlates with him studying for an exam with another person).

EXAMPLE #4 of a friend with the Saturn-Mercury conjunction in the 8TH HOUSE, which encompasses the life domain of: death and rebirth processes; surrendering control and power to discover a more infinitely valuable resource and strength; learning surrender through trust, sexual and emotional intimacy, and the merging of resources; learning to balance responsibility, control, trust and surrender through receiving unearned income and/or addressing debt, loans and shared finances; exposing hidden truths; facing one’s shadow and deepest fears in order to grow and transform; deep healing and liberation; death, illness, disease, and disability; being confronted with (and learning how to accept) the element of chaos and uncertainty in life that we are all vulnerable to…

Throughout the period of this Saturn-Mercury conjunction in her 8th House this friend has been in the process of moving in with her partner and unpacking her boxes as they completely merged resources – right down to the flours and spices (Mercury can be very detail-oriented)! This is a significant external event which mirrors the internal development of increased commitment, trust, and intimacy.

EXAMPLE #5 – My turn!

Saturn is conjunct Mercury in my 5TH HOUSE, squaring my natal Sun and Mercury in the 8TH HOUSE.

In terms of 8TH HOUSE themes, on the day of the first Saturn- Mercury conjunction I finally went to my family doctor to address something I was putting off because doctors sometimes make me anxious (i.e. being responsible in a Saturnian way and facing an 8th house fear of vulnerability). In the days that followed, I created an Excel sheet of all my financial accounts and spending (very Mercurial)… and was confronted with how painfully in debt I am (i.e. Saturn’s harsh reality, and the debt themes of the 8th House). I also caught up on my journaling (Mercury), which is a form of therapy for me (8th House).

The major initiation for me though, in regards to this transit, has definitely been a 5TH HOUSE matter, which encompasses the life domain of: acts of creation; creative projects – which includes children as well as new romantic exchanges; passion, play and present-moment human pleasure; authentic self-expression; identity, confidence and self-esteem; discovering and celebrating the special way we can contribute to the world as unique individuals; being “seen” by others and having our unique identities, contributions and creative projects received, valued and appreciated…

Since the beginning of Mercury’s pre-shadow period, the idea for a creative writing project has been brewing and I’ve also been really motivated to get back into making mosaics and stained glass work.

The day that Saturn first conjoined Mercury was actually the same day my Progressed Mercury left the last degree of Pisces and entered into Aries at 0 degrees (this is a once in a lifetime transit that I have been waiting for, forever!). This Progressed Mercury in Aries felt like a good omen – especially since Aries rules my 9th House, which is associated with publications. And of course Mercury symbolizes communication and writing, while Saturn is about getting down to business, committing, and DOING THE THING.

I started working on the project that day.

My motivation waned during that weird Gemini Full Moon weekend when Mercury turned Retrograde, followed by Chiron turning Direct. Chiron has been grinding down on my Sun/Mercury for a couple years now as my identity and self-worth have been completely challenged, leveled and rebuilt (as my Sun and Mercury have simultaneously been also squared by Saturn during my Saturn Return).

I was struck with waves of doubt.

On the day of the second Saturn-Mercury conjunction (last Wednesday), I reached the 1000 follower mark on Instagram. This struck me as very appropriate for the transit since Lilith Rebellion is an important creative (writing) project I birthed this year, and Saturn appreciates tangible, obvious outcomes measures.

It actually made me nervous though, to be honest, even though 1000 is a humble number in the IG realm…but what would happen, I wondered, if Lilith Rebellion kept growing and reaching a wider audience? How would that change it? I have been blessed with incredible connections through this IG account – would I attract online trolls and negative comments?

In many ways, I have retreated from the public world for almost two years now, and yet I am at the brink of midwifing new creative life projects into the light. Can I pursue my passions? Can I fully unlock and cultivate my creative impulses? Can I make a living income through various forms of creative self-expression? What’s stopping me?

Saturn, transiting my 5th House of creative projects and self-expression, symbolizes ambition, goals, high standards, tangible outcomes, and fear. I’ve been realizing that it is not so much that I fear failure, as much as I fear success – although the two are closely linked.

The internal processing work of my Mercury Retrograde is compelling me to reflect deeply on my resistance and to face my fears in this area.

I recently read a 2-part series of thought-provoking articles related to the Fear of Success. If this resonates with you, you can check out them here and here.

 

EDIT to my last post – in addition to Ronan Farrow, journalists Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey were also responsible for publicly bringing the Weinstein allegations out into the open through a New York Times article. I apologize for my ignorance of this fact!


Pssst… for additional and more frequent cosmic weather updates, follow Lilith Rebellion on Instagram and Facebook. To receive a weekly cosmic weather overview by email, subscribe to Lilith Rebellion email updates. The week’s cosmic weather forecast will be published on the blog every Monday, with periodic additional posts to mark important cosmic events.

Even When at its Most Dreary, Our World Retains a Glimmer of Magic :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for December 4th – 10th

Have you rebounded from that doozy of a weekend? Everyone I know, including myself, spent most of it in bed or finding other various ways to escape conscious awareness of time. Most of the weekend slipped down a rabbit hole – otherwise known as Mercury Stationing Retrograde and a Full Moon in Gemini squaring Neptune.

This week greets us with Chiron the asteroid, otherwise known as the wounded healer of the sky, turning Direct on TUESDAY after being retrograde since June 30th.

During its Retrograde period, healing can feel slower, more laborious – with perhaps less external signs of progress and the tangible results we crave. But don’t underestimate Chiron’s work during this time. Retrograde periods bring deeper insight and self-awareness as we delve into our histories. As we take a second, more penetrating look at our internal workings.

As Chiron pivots, it can reactivate a wound, if the wound has been ignored. It can highlight the progress you have made. It can bring a mentor or teacher into your life. It can reveal to you in what ways you are ready to share the fruits of your healing process with others.

If discomfort arises, stay with it if you can. Observe it as it rises, as it fades, as it points you toward its origin point. Discomfort is a symptom, it is a message; it does not define you.

Remember that you are not broken. You are not a problem person. You are not defective.

Your Core Self is indestructible, whole and beautiful – just like that perfect sphere that is your natal chart. Inner healing is not a process of fixing a broken person, but rather a process of discovering your innate wholeness and gradually, lovingly, awakening the parts of you that have temporarily forgotten this truth and reminding them of their potential.

As these parts of self rise from their slumber, the external and manifest expression of your soul in this world, moves from constriction to expansion. It deepens and broadens in scope, allowing you a delicious range of options and possibilities from which you can craft your glorious life.

On Nov. 28th, Mercury met Saturn at 27 degrees Sag going forward. Now, since having turned around last SUNDAY, Mercury Retrograde fuses with Saturn on WEDNESDAY, for its 2nd conjunction at 28 degrees Sag. In total, Mercury will have been within about 1 degree of Saturn for about two weeks. What point, project, or process has this conjunction been driving home for you?

Every 3-week Mercury Retrograde has its own unique flavour.

The 1st one this year (April 9th – May 3rd) involved Mercury meeting up with Uranus in Aries, and it had an erratic, surprising, unusual, and fast-paced intensity to it.

During the 2nd Rx (Aug. 13 – Sept. 5th) Mercury first stationed opposite Neptune, and then stationed right on the degree of the recent Total Solar Eclipse in Leo. In the aftermath of so much cosmic chaos as Mercury was doused in the fire, this retrograde, arguably, had both a confusing and destabilizing – and yet ultimately clarifying – quality to it.

This 3rd Mercury Retrograde (Dec. 3rd – Dec. 22/23) is serious, solemn and SLOW. Retrogrades often slow things down (in respect to a planet’s themes), but this one even more so due to Mercury’s prolonged close contact with Saturn – from at which point it launched its backward journey. Aside from the Moon (a luminary body), Mercury is the fastest planet in Astrology. As the ruler of quick-witted Gemini and always-busy Virgo, Mercury HATES going slowly. This is one reason why we tend to notice Mercury Retrogrades more than other planetary retrogrades.

And yet on the same day, while Mercury and Saturn are still conjunct, they both receive a sextile from Mars?!

Mars, the engine of the zodiac. The fuel. The gas pedal. The aggravator.

I can’t say you’ll gain any speed, but you may get a strong dose of determination to help you bulldoze (efficiently and carefully, of course) through whatever heavy-weight desire/project/responsibility/issue is making you feel under pressure.

With Mars still in Libra, you may be compelled to ensure whatever you are attending to, is fair and just (…and beautifully decorated).

On FRIDAY, the planet of mysticism and transcendence joins forces with the devoted priestess of the sacred fire as Neptune trines Vesta (an asteroid). Attend to the rejuvenating altars in your life – literally or metaphorically. Cultivate your spiritual core.

On the same day, the Sun will trine the North Node (still conjunct Ceres in Leo). You may be inspired, with a rush of motivation, to give birth to (or nurture) that creative life project which has been calling your name. Synchronicity abounds and you can taste your infinite potential.

Friday feels special. Make some magic, loves.

On SATURDAY, Mars enters Scorpio, a sign that it shares co-rulership of with Pluto.

MEGA POWER has arrived, just in time for the holidays.

This is the placement of a warrior that intrepidly embarks on dark, soulful journeys that would terrify most. Directed by its sharply honed instincts, it trusts in its reliable guides. Emerging from the depths after its long descents, it carries with it an indomitable inner strength.

Mars in Scorpio is daring and courageous, and can support the action of that which has thus far intimidated us… And yet it can also unfurl deep, defensive rage that was first birthed with early wounding or through legacies of unhealed family abuses.

If this directs inward, we may be inclined to shred ourselves. If this directs outward, unconsciously, this placement is capable of malicious cruelty. Through dominating or attacking others, Mars in Scorpio may try to protect the vulnerable hurt it feels – at all costs.

Both Mars and Scorpio remind us of our wonderful (yet sometimes frustrating) brain stem and limbic brain – areas that respond in often automatic, reflexive ways (and in ways that we often don’t consciously understand), in order to ensure our survival. These are where our animal instincts are held – our needs and desires for food, protection, safety, and sex.

We don’t want to shun our magical, powerful instincts, but neither do we want to act from an unconscious, automatic place of unwarranted reactivity that causes harm.

Be aware of your triggers and be patient with the rewiring of those that are deeply patterned into your psyche and nervous system.

Mars in Scorpio during this season brings to mind two natal charts – that of Harvey Weinstein and Ronan Farrow.

Harvey Weinstein is a (previously) powerful Hollywood figure who has been accused of numerous, horrific sexual assaults.

Ronan Farrow is the journalist and lawyer who is largely responsible for confronting an elaborate and corrupt cover-up in order to bring these allegations into the light through his investigative journalism. His own childhood and family life, as the son of Woody Allen, has been painfully marked by allegations of abuse. Farrow (during his Saturn Return) used his privilege to create a public channel for the voices of women who had been coerced into silence for years. This proved to be a massive world-wide catalyst.

Both Weinstein and Farrow have Mars in Scorpio in their natal charts, in aspect to Pluto.

I know very little about the lives of either of them, but it would appear that they have harnessed their immense power-potential in very different ways.

Mars will meet up with Jupiter in Scorpio in early January. In this Chapter of your Jupiter in Scorpio Story (which spans October 10th 2017 – November 8th 2018), in what ways do you need to conciously apply an extra measure of power, ferocity and courage? What boundaries need to be asserted or adjusted? Are you in touch with your anger? If so, what is at the root of it? What is driving your actions? How can you channel your anger in a healthy, creative way to achieve justice and transformation?

As Venus squares Neptune on SUNDAY, our relationships, our finances, our self-worth, and the object of our desire, is doused in a bucket of Neptunian confusion, illusions and fantasies. Stay grounded loves, while still connecting to that vast, infinite, interconnected Universe, of which you are an integral part.

Mercury, now retrograde, will repeat its trine to Uranus and its square to Chiron on SUNDAY (we last experienced this on Nov. 24/25). We are feeling our wounds, expressing them, and leaping through them into our liberation.

SUNDAY’s Third Quarter Moon in Virgo wants a plan. Virgo needs to be prepared for everything, while spontaneous, freedom-loving Sagittarius throws caution to the wind.

Strike a balance. Make the plan and prepare. Then let go of the reins and listen to your intuition.

Wait. On second thought, with that Venus-Neptune square still quite active, maybe keep Virgo’s discernment front and center as you navigate your Third Quarter challenge and release. The next lunation cycle will begin Dec. 18th (AST) with a New Moon in Sag.

As Saturn weighs heavily on your deep-seated beliefs, your thoughts, your studying capacity (best of luck all you students in end-of-term exam crunch!), and your self-expression – keep trusting in the process. When this seems impossible, find a willing someone with enough trust and faith to keep the boat afloat for both of you.

And remember, even when at its most dreary, our world retains a glimmer of magic.

 

Pssst… for additional and more frequent cosmic weather updates, follow Lilith Rebellion on Instagram and Facebook. To receive a weekly cosmic weather overview by email, subscribe to Lilith Rebellion email updates. The week’s cosmic weather forecast will be published on the blog every Monday, with periodic additional posts to mark important cosmic events.

Full Moon in Gemini :: Accept & Integrate the Many Sides of Your Personality

Today (Sunday), the Full Moon occurs at 11 degrees Gemini, opposite the Sun in Sagittarius.

With the Full Moon’s ruler, Mercury, Stationing Retrograde at the 29th crisis-oriented degree of Sag, while the Sun and Moon tightly square Neptune… which is trining Jupiter… this one is a weird one for sure, which I described further in my weekly forecast. Don’t jump to any conclusions or make hasty decisions. Exercise patience with your possible lack of focus, energy and motivation this weekend.

In this post, I want to talk about the twin symbolism of Gemini and how that speaks to the multiple sub-personalities we all have. Continue reading “Full Moon in Gemini :: Accept & Integrate the Many Sides of Your Personality”

The Wandering Mind & Exercises of Attention :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for November 27th – December 3rd

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This week is a crescendo that builds toward the Full Moon in Gemini on SUNDAY (Dec. 3rd), which occurs simultaneously with Mercury (the Full Moon’s ruler) turning Retrograde for its final backward journey of the year. What a way to launch!

Mercury is the messenger of the sky, the Sun’s quick-footed sidekick that symbolizes thought, communication, short-distance travel, siblings, and any type of information-processing (which includes technology).

I always find it fascinating how Mercury Retrogrades often seem synchronically  timed and patterned to really bring our attention to a certain transit or cosmic event. Continue reading “The Wandering Mind & Exercises of Attention :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for November 27th – December 3rd”

Embarking on the Final Climb at the End of our Sagittarian Pilgrimage :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for November 20th – 26th

I have been lost in my thoughts the last few days and couldn’t find a funnel to get some of them out into orderly words on a page. Apologies for the day-late forecast : )

I love Scorpio and Capricorn and appreciate their vital and valuable contribution to the zodiac wheel and our cosmic DNA, but oh man, I am always relieved to get a sunny blast of Sagittarius in-between the heavy, dark Scorpio and Cap seasons.

If the tumultuous Scorpionic weather has been dragging you through the trenches over the last month +, this week the Universe will give you an earful of rejuvenating pep talks as we enter into Sagittarius Season late tonight (TUESDAY). Continue reading “Embarking on the Final Climb at the End of our Sagittarian Pilgrimage :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for November 20th – 26th”

New Moon in Scorpio :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for November 13th – 19th

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We’ve had a series of Jupiter conjunctions recently. Jupiter is renown as the “lucky” magical planet of blessings. When a planet forms a conjunction with Jupiter, the planet’s symbolism can inherit Jupiter’s gifts of expansion, luck, and success.

Within the last month we’ve had Mercury conjunct Jupiter! The Sun conjunct Jupiter! And now today (MONDAY), Venus conjunct Jupiter!

And yet… I always have to add a note of caution. I don’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade… but the Jupiter conjunctions are occurring in… Scorpio. And since Scorpio holds our deeply repressed material and all that we fear (along with profound truth and power), these typically joyful conjunctions with jovial Jupiter are… complex. Continue reading “New Moon in Scorpio :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for November 13th – 19th”

A Spoonful of Sugar :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for November 6th – 12th

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I’m not sure if this pixelated image is entirely accurate for the week’s vibes, but Mary Poppins’ medicine delivery came instantly to mind when I noticed that Venus would be ingressing into Scorpio, Hygeia would be dancing with Pluto, and the Sun would be forming a sextile with Pluto.

Meh, so I went with it.

On MONDAY, Pluto conjoined with Hygeia. I have never mentioned this asteroid before, but I keep an eye on her in charts. Hygeia (related to the word “hygiene”) speaks to purity of mind and body, cleanliness, sanitation, holistic healing, and preventative healthcare – the support and maintenance of good health. I’m curious, as Pluto fused with her on Monday, did you get obsessed about a health or hygiene issue? Did you feel a need to scour down to the nitty gritty to purify some area of your life? To remove all toxins and pollution, inside and out, in order to address a persistent sense of dis-ease or unwellness?

Have you cleansed your palette so your taste buds are ready to experience the vibrancy that life has to offer? Continue reading “A Spoonful of Sugar :: Cosmic Weather Forecast for November 6th – 12th”

Full Moon in Taurus Series :: Regulate your Emotions & Nervous System through your SENSES

This is a series of 3 posts I published on Instagram for the Taurus Full Moon (November 3rd-4th).

Taurus Full Moon Post #1 out of 3:
Playing Trigger Detective

We are a few hours away from the Full Moon in Taurus reaching its peak (2:22 am ADT, November 4th – see my weekly forecast for further details).

This is a lunation that asks you to find your ground, to find goodness through your senses, and to rest in your resources – both internal and external.

And yet, at the same time this Full Moon brings some disruption. The Saturn-Chiron square of yesterday is still strong, pointing out wounds to be healed. Venus, the ruler of this Full Moon, is opposing the shocking Uranus, bestowing unexpected surprises in our midst. And while the Moon may be in Taurus, it opposes the Sun in Scorpio.

Scorpio reminds us of the pain we have yet to transform. Taurus reminds us that it is possible to cultivate a delicious sense of safety deep within our flesh and bones.

For most of us in this wild world, for various reasons, our bodies are always on high-alert, constantly scanning for threats. Or, exhausted of maintaining this hyper-vigilance, perhaps they are falling into a state of numb collapse.

What would it be like to truly experience a deep-rooted sense of safety… all the time? A world where all bodies can allow themselves to relax into a Taurean visceral sense of safety, is one that I long for. Continue reading “Full Moon in Taurus Series :: Regulate your Emotions & Nervous System through your SENSES”